so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I think my moral compass just broke
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
