too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize