Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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