dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize