yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
