It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
