I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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