4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
