I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
