you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
