lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
