How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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