roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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