I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
