I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
