It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
he puts the penis in happiness.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
