You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
