I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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