oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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