As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
