birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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