Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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