tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
