Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
