He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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