My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
