What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
