My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
