im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
