I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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