mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Randomize
