Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
