Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
