wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
