Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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