You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
My liver just had a heart attack.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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