i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
