He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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