Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
