i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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