omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Randomize
