He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
