wat bout pragnant strippers??
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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