Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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