this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
whose parrot is this?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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