evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize