every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
