I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
