I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
i think my cat just said my name.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
