the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
