noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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