Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
