we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
