Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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