Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize
