It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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