I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
