you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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