it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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