I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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