nut hugger
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
