Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
