I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize