It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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