Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize