They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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