Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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