I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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