Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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