grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
